Courier-Post

By AL KLIMCKE

H enry Wadsworth Longfellow called music the universal language. Tamara Monique Conroy has turned it into the language of love.
      Conroy of Pelham, N.Y., is an exhibiting artist, former special education teacher and frustrated musician who created Classical Music Lovers’ Exchange, a dating service for singles enthralled by great music.
      “My late husband was a music lover,” says Conroy, a passionate admirer of Brahms.  “We attended many concerts and cultural events together. When he died I became aware what a rare bird he was. Most of the men I met later were not classical music lovers. I dated a few who could talk about nothing but football and basketball, and who needs that? I figured there must be other people out there with the same problem.”
      She found out there were many, and CMLE, the nation’s only dating service for longhairs, was born in 1980.
      Conroy is still a widow, but a very busy one. She says CMLE, with more than 1,000 members all over the country, is a full time job from which she derives great satisfaction.
      “CMLE is unique,” she says. “Most of our members come to it not as desperate singles, but as music lovers seeking companions to share their addiction to music. Besides many warm friendships, we have hundreds of marriages, often between people living hundreds of miles apart.”
      Linda, a 40-year-old New York City architectural designer, married Earl, a 41-year-old New Jersey computer consultant, last June. She met him just three months after signing up with CMLE in August 1994.
      “I joined because I think classical music is a civilizing influence,” she says. “I figured I would meet a man who’s interest wasn’t in rap and who only wants to go to Mets games. The main thing was that we would have something in common.”
      “Classical music was a mutual interest, but not the only one that brought them together, she says. Some others were bicycling, museums, old houses and cats.
      “I found Earl’s attitude optimistic without being saccharine,” she says. “But I lived in Manhattan and he lived in New Jersey. This is a man I never would have met without CMLE.”
      Conroy frequently reminds her members that marriage and romance are only the frosting on the cake and not the main aim of CMLE.
      A 39-year-old MBA-educated homemaker and former systems analyst from Springfield in suburban Philadelphia has been a member for only six weeks and has already requested the biographies of nine men.”
      “They all sound very interesting,” she says. “The service seems to attract very bright, well-educated people. They are not the typical people you meet on the street.
      “It’s nice to meet other people who like classical music,” she adds. “I don’t know that many who do. I hope to make some friends to go to some concerts with.”
      Conroy advertises in more than 100 music-oriented national publications, as well as concert and opera program booklets. She says most people still join based on word of mouth.
      The majority of the membership is concentrated in the Northeast, but national membership is growing steadily, Conroy says.
      “Music lovers are found among all age groups and professions,” she notes. “Most are highly educated people. A surprising proportion of our members are musicians.”
      Byron, a never-married, 38-year-old music teacher and brass player who lives in Bucks County, PA, says he met several women he dated through CMLE.
      “There’s a common thread of interest, music being the focal point,” he says. “With the biographical profiles you can quickly get an idea of a persons likes and dislikes. Music is a very major factor in most of these people’s lives. Usually the person on the other end is pretty receptive.”
      Prospective members compose brief descriptions of themselves and fill out a longer biographical profile that asks the usual singles data, including physical characteristics.
      But it also asks about your favorite type of music, your favorite composers, and whether you attend concerts or opera or prefer to listen at home.
      It asks if you sing, play, or are studying an instrument, whether you’re interested in finding a companion to attend concerts with or whether you’d like to locate a partner with whom to play chamber music.
      Your thoughts about today’s society are also solicited. New members are mailed brief descriptions of all current opposite sex music lovers listed. They also receive a monthly newsletter that includes a listing of those who joined during the previous month. If anyone sounds interesting they can request copies of the longer biographical profiles for $2 each.
      Conroy’s files bulge with testimonials from satisfied customers declining to renew because they found a soulmate.
      One writes: “I find this the most felicitous alternative to the ghastly singles scene. Since it is based on common interests rather than random chance, personality remains paramount and one’s dignity is not compromised.”
      A “Mission Accomplished” section of the newsletter tells of marriages, engagements and babies born to CMLE couples. New friendships are celebrated and upcoming concerts and recitals by member musicians are often announced.
       Conroy says her greatest regret in life is that she is not musically gifted.“I have waged a lifelong losing battle with the piano,” she says. “In my next life I know I’ll be a famous pianist.”